That time I thought I was having a baby

This is the long, drawn out story of our dramatic weekend. Spoiler alert: it does not end with us having a baby...read on if you wish. 

Two things I have learned in the past few days:

1. My daughter is stubborn and has a will of her own at the ripe old age of ZERO

2. Labor is unpredictable and strange and can mean many different things for different people. 

On Saturday evening around 7pm I started having consistent contractions. At first I was pretty unphased by the whole thing because I had been having contractions on and off for the past few days. I started timing them around 7:30, and they were about 3-4 minutes apart. I was shocked and told Andrew that I think it might be time, but lets wait another hour and see what happens. An hour later I was still having them, some were even 2 minutes apart. I wanted to wait a little longer though to make sure this was the real deal. Around 10:30 after laying in bed for a little while I got up and started packing the things that I hadn't been able to pack before (pillows, make-up, hairdryer, etc.) and told Andrew that I think we should start getting ready. Cue husband FREAKING OUT, running around, sweating, calling people to make sure Sunday school would be taken care of. Poor guy. I reminded him that it was going to be okay, and he chilled a bit, or at least pretended to. 

We got to the hospital and went straight into an observation room where they hooked me up to the monitor and checked me. I was 3 cm dilated and still 75% effaced. Some progress from Wednesday, but not enough for them to admit me to the hospital. After a few hours of walking around, the on call doctor came to see me, checked me again (hadn't changed), and told me that he would like to observe me for another hour or two before sending me home because he doesn't want the labor to progress rapidly once we get home and us not know it. We paced the halls for another hour or two (a very fun activity at 3am!) and then the nurse checked me again. I had dilated to a 4, so they decided to admit me. They got me started on the IV antibiotics for strep b, and Andrew got some sleep. Meanwhile, I laid in bed and cried thinking about how scared I was about all of this, mostly becoming a parent. 

Around 6:30am the nurse came in and checked me again. Still at a 4, the doctor decided that he wanted to give me pitocin. I was disappointed because I had heard/read about how awful pitocin makes labor and just saw it as ruining my desire to have a natural labor. It didn't help that the anesthesiologist came in about an hour later and said "you ready for your epidural yet?" when I replied no, that I was wanting to try to do this naturally, he kind of chuckled and said "this is your first baby, isn't it?" I nodded and he said "just wait until that pitocin kicks in..." Well, it kicked in and my contractions got strong, and very close together. After about 6 hours of this (around 1ish), the doctor that I had seen the night before came to check me. I was still a 4...well, technically 4.75, but STILL. 

Dang it. How is that possible?? I had been laboring for a good 14 hours and only made this much progress. 

This is when the doctor gave me the different game plan options. 

-Break my water, up the pitocin and get this show on the road. 

-Up the pitocin and see what happens. 

-Stop everything, go home, and see what happens.

We chose the last one. After 17 hours in the hospital I left with nothing but a wrist full of hospital bracelets, an IV wound, and a severe need for sleep.

I was already a bit uncomfortable with trying to force Ruby to come out on our terms, so I decided that even though I would LOVE to meet my daughter, I want her to come as much on her own as she can.

We came home and the contractions slowed down quite a bit. Since we've been home I have had hours that my contractions have been steady and strong, and then lulls where I wont feel one for hours. I was so frustrated for a while about the whole ordeal because I had gotten myself (and everyone else) so psyched up about this baby being here, and she's still inside of me! 

We went back to the doctor today. I haven't progressed anymore, which was not that surprising to me to be honest. I needed some answers though, and I needed to hear them from my regular doctor (who was in New York this weekend). She said that while it's not in the textbooks, labor can actually be a long drawn out process that can take weeks. While this isn't common, I am one of the lucky (or unlucky...still not sure) ones that have this drawn-out labor process. My body is slowly dilating, and Ruby is slowly going to make her appearance. The one good thing about this? Most likely my "active" labor will be shorter and less intense because I will already be so far dilated once it starts. My doctor said that her gut tells her that I'll still be pregnant next week. We'll see. Either way, today I found some peace about all of it. I felt like we were doing the right thing, and that it's OKAY that Ruby wants to stay inside for a little longer. Contentment set in and I came home, snuggled with Banjo, and cleaned my toilets. 

So there, that's the story of the time I thought I was having a baby. 

The kicker is that I actually am having a baby, just not the way it happens for most people. 

I'm assuming life as usual tomorrow, returning to work, and hoping to get some much needed rest and relaxation in before our lives turn upside down. 

If you made it through all of that, I applaud you.